One Hundred Thirty Two

For some reason I was really mad at my husband last night. Of course he didn't know it as I always kept myself at silence each time I'm in rage.

This morning I thought of confronting him but since he was still fast asleep and I needed to rush to work, I sent him a text telling how upset I was.

His phone was charging in the other room. I went to bath and immediately as I finished showering, I took his phone and deleted my message.

I had forgotten something very important. Something I've held on to for years --- always understand what it's like being in someone's shoes before telling them off.

And before I left, I kissed him goodbye (he was still snuggling his favourite bantal peluk) and asked nicely... and he explained... and I understood the reason he took the measure.

Today I relearnt a lesson. Mind over matter. Anger, sadness, joy, excitement, fear - even can't be overcome - can always be controlled. Never let our emotions take charge of our actions.

One Hundred Thirty One

I was trying to get on my feet when I probably twisted my waist yesterday noon. Was in so much pain the whole day yesterday but I had to follow the husband out nevertheless.

I barely stood up straight let alone walked. But I braved myself anyway. I had a difficult time lying down straight as well. 

On our way back home, a thought kept coming across my mind. Imagine not being able to walk properly my whole life. I've be taking my ability to move around freely for granted all this while. Allah's been blessing me with a pair of perfectly healthy limbs so I could work and wander on His earth at my own liberty.

So after applying some cream last night and sleeping on back with my legs straight, I woke up with a so much reduced pain. I resumed my work at peace (and have now completed it) and I couldn't be any grateful for this nikmat again.

Alhamdulillah.

One Hundred Thirty

"You have come this far. You can't quit over something petty."

I won't, Insya Allah. I need a plan.

It's time for Plan B.

One Hundred Twenty Nine

We have a situation with a nocturnal insect in our bathroom. It has been going on for weeks now.

"Jaja, masa kita tengah dalam toilet haritu, ada lipas tengok kita mandi."

"Okay."

"Lepastu kita terus sembur dia kat penjuru dinding. Lipas tu macam tengah surf atas ombak."

"Euw."

"Tapi lepas tu kita teringat Rasulullah cakap, kalau nak bunuh haiwan, jangan guna api, jangan guna air."

"Wow, seriously? Then did you stop?"

"No."

One Hundred Twenty Eight

Macam baru semalam aku saksikan persahabatan mereka disulami dengan gelak tawa, tanpa sedikit bayangan apa yang bakal mereka tempuhi 10 tahun lagi. Macam tidak percaya 10 tahun kemudian itu dipenuhi dengan cabaran yang maha dahsyat, yang aku tidak dapat gambarkan betapa cekalnya mereka untuk menghadapinya.

Tetapi itulah lumrah. Manusia dihujani ujian yang tidak disangka-sangka. Allah yang Maha Bijaksana telah sebaik-baiknya mengatur jalan cerita setiap manusia, ujian-ujian yang perlu dilalui - dan inilah yang mendewasakan kita semua.

Melihat rakan-rakan sepermainan ditimpa pelbagai dugaan membuat kita berasa simpati, dan lebih berhati-hati dalam setiap keputusan hidup. Kita juga lebih bersyukur dan menghargai mereka yang sentiasa berada di sisi.

Macam tidak percaya lagi cabaran-cabaran getir ini sebenarnya boleh terjadi. Acapkali hanya ditonton di televisyen, hari ini ia berlaku di depan mata. Masih bersyukur lagi kerana tidak terkena batang hidung sendiri. Namun, mulut tidak boleh putus berdoa agar dilindungi rahmatNya - rahmat kesihatan, pengetahuan, harta benda, ahli keluarga, pangkat, maruah, iman dan semua jenis rahmat yang tidak tersenarai banyaknya.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah ya Allah kerana masih memeliharaku daripada segala bala bencana. Apalah segala ujian yang aku  hadapi jika mahu dibandingkan dengan individu-individu cekal yang lain. Alangkah sayangnya Allah pada mereka kerana diuij sedemikian rupa.

Semoga dengan segala dugaan yang diturunkan, terhapuslah segala dosa kecil dan besar penerimanya. Semoga dengan ujian ini, hati-hati kami semakin kukuh dengan iman kepadaMu - kerana Allah lah sebaik-baik perancang.