Wednesday, September 6, 2017

One Hundred Seventy

Nobody is stopping me from what I'm achieving. If you can't keep up, you may excuse yourself from this walk. You don't want to be the one holding me back.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

One Hundred Sixty Nine

While taking his bath this morning, my husband brushed his teeth twice intentionally. I asked why. He said, "Doktor kan suruh gosok gigi dua kali sehari. So, malam ni kita tak payah gosok gigi lagi dah."

...

Sunday, August 6, 2017

One Hundred Sixty Eight

I am technically a hobby-less girl. I don't listen to music nor do I watch TV. I don't do sports, indoor nor outdoor. I don't collect stuff. I don't play games (does Candy Crush count?) Oh maybe I like reading and writing, but these two aren't hobbies. They're not something I do religiously.

But I love things like marching, choral speaking, drama and all. I like coaching people involved in those. Maybe it just shows that I love teaching/coaching. But you wouldn't call it a hobby, would you? Because you don't do this on weekly or daily basis. You do this, I mean, I do this when there's a competition or when people hire me to.

I am basically a boring person. But when I engage myself in the abovementioned activities, I think people should respect my that. They should allow me to indulge in it and give me some space to be my true self.You know when you're doing something you really love and you tend to show your true colours.

Hey, maybe what I really love is winning. Yeah, maybe.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

One Hundred Sixty Seven

Sometimes it's not fun to share things with him because he always makes snide remarks.

But yesterday was different. We were on the highway and it was a 3-hour drive. I was probably staring aimlessly outside the window and he asked, "Jaja fikir apa?"

"If I share you promise you won't make any annoying comment as usual?"

He nodded.

"I was imagining myself being behind bars. In prison."

He kept listening. But his eyes were on the road.

"I think the cruelest punishment can be imprisonment. Imagine how it can bore you to death looking at the four empty walls every second. Not having anyone to talk to."

I continued, "If I were in jail, I'd demand for books everyday."

He laughed, "If you're a bookworm why would you be in jail in first place?"

"Ramai je orang genius (not self-proclaiming, just comparing, LOL) masuk penjara."

"No, I mean, kalau Jaja kerja baca buku je hari-hari, bila masa Jaja nak commit a crime?"

"Oh yes. Tapi ramai je orang kena frame lepas tu masuk penjara. They write tafseers, solved maths problems, created scientific theories..."

"Betul. Macam ahli Ikhwan, Ibnu Kutb."

Sunday, June 11, 2017

One Hundred Sixy Six

I felt a sudden emptiness when he walked out of the door yesterday. Can't believe this fortnight he spent in nenek's house would leave me feeling sore upon its end.

He literally tagged along wherever I went these past couple of weeks. And at night he'd ask me to sleep downstairs with him because he said, "But I like having you around."

Even when he didn't have any class in Prima, he'd still want to follow me. "Please please please," he begged. I couldn't afford declining this. He would hover around until I finished teaching.

He's so likable he received so many presents on his birthday last week. His presence is a pleasure despite his challenging and annoying questions. He's a little explorer who's so curious about everything around him. He's kind, obedient but also has his own temper sometimes.

A day before yesterday, Cik Nah said, "Next week rumah mesti sunyi," and I couldn't agree more. Today's the first day the house had an iftar this year without you, Hayl Arsyad.

You always have a special place in everyone's heart. I literally cried out loud driving back home yesterday knowing that you won't be there anymore.

See you next week.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

One Hundred Sixty Five

I am not in my best days now. There are several personal issues I'm encountering that would affect my work performance as well.

I can be so demotivated when challenges hit me like this. I would curl in bed for hours doing entirely nothing. That's how bad I can be.

So I kinda reflect on my actions and feelings and I came across news on a lady being gang raped and her child being thrown away to the side of the road on the aftermath (he was found dead later), then I also came across stories on wives being beaten mercilessly by husbands, on parents who lost their children. I even visited my distant relative who's vegetable now and is taken care by her children...

All these made me realise how petty my challenges are. Comparatively, theirs mentioned above are beyond anything I could imagine myself enduring. Now I believe that Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear.

But I still find this miserable feeling disturbing. I wish this ends soon. I can't even fathom it's actually happening. It's preventable, yet it happens.


Wednesday, June 7, 2017

One Hundred Sixty Four

I think people only enjoy juicy stuff lah. But as we age (or grow *cough* more maturely) we seem to be hesitant to share these kinda stuff publicly (or rather dah tak ada anything juicy pun that's happening in our lives LOL).

Dulu I'd share every conversation I found interesting, be it with my students, nephews, friends and especially Syafiq. Now I feel somehow embarrassed to be sharing them though the urge is there. People might think nothing really interesting takes place in this person's life. Or they might also think well she now knows how to keep things to herself hahah!

Regardless of what people might think, I'd stay true to myself. Only better. I mean, even if I'm no longer here in this world, this blog (as long as blogger still exists) remains and people may still read it. So I better be leaving a super good impression to the readers and they would pray that my dead body wouldn't be decomposed that quickly.

Oh and there's also this tendency to use hashtag here. Urgh all thanks to twitter and instagram.