Turbulent is what I can describe us for the past weeks. He consoled me by saying it's normal to have ups and downs in a relationship. There was a point where I could no longer tolerate marriage but he stood still, proving to me; this, us, could work.
No matter how ugly things became, no matter how angry I was at him, there is an undefined feeling engulfing me.
And the moment I thought I'd decided to walk this path separately, I suddenly doubted my choice;
this man is not perfect, and neither am I. We might not as well be perfect for each other. But the love we have is so strong I can't imagine breathing a second without him.
As for now, I'll make sure we'll work things out together. It's not easy, but a smooth tide doesn't make a skillful sailor they say.
Doakan kami, insya Allah.